Don't get it twisted Suzy.

Suburban lives of mid 20/30 somethings need some spice as they don't always have access to the cultural amazingness that surrounds my life, obviously. I'm talking SVU marathons, tofu lo mein, and getting probably too excited when cafe's have almond milk for my lattes.

Community organized sporting leagues seem to have taken and spread quickly. Captains and presidents of said leagues now have a power outlet to exert their unquenchable hunger. Specifically, I present to you an email exchange of an all female soccer league:

Email: League President
Subject: Spring soccer scheduling

Hi ladies,
I've resorted to emailing everyone on this team's roster from the immediate past season because neither the primary captain nor secondary captain have returned any of my emails nor have they responded to several voicemails. Can someone please tell me if your team is going to be playing? The spring season starts in a few weeks and I need to know so I can make the schedule with or without you.

Please reply to all as soon as possible with any helpful information.

Thank you,
League President

The response?

Email: Primary President
Subject: Re: Spring soccer scheduling

League President - Please check your inbox and you will see you have heard from me regarding the Spring season. Also understand that you have been sending emails to an account that is no longer in use and the auto-response that is set up would have told you that after every email you have sent me. I explained in my email to you that we are planning on playing this Spring and that if you needed anything you should contact me via email at this address. If you have any further questions or concerns I would appreciate it if you would email me directly here instead of calling me out in front of my team.

Thank you.

Primary Captain

Lesson learned? Always check your junk folder.

Elton John and I are besties.

Sorta...

As background, my pals and I stalked out the stage door to get a glimpse of Amy Winehouse but were informed by her people that she'd most likely be otherwise ... preoccupied ... in her green room at the venue. Oh right, this was at Sheppard Bush in Hammersmith, London circa May 2007. Elton John was in the audience and he did leave via stage door. Shortly after this shot was snapped, I literally ran after Sir Elton to snag a pic with him but was brutally rebuffed.

C'est la vie.

Meangirl-ed.

JFY: i met a friend for lunch today
and we are chatting, having a semi-private convo

and some cray cray bitch walks up

and says

"hi, i'm new here. i feel like this is high school and i don't have friends. can i sit here."

.

.

.

she sat down, SCARFED her food

while talking about how drunk she was that weekend

then got up and said "k thanks, bye"
only breaking for air once to ask if we were engaged!

Lesson learned: Staying in touch with pals can be tricky what with lifestyle differences, time zones, distance, etc. However, it is very important as stories like these - that REALLY matter - can be shared.