Weekend: A Look Ahead.

This lady makes me smile all zee time.

JAF: k i'm leaving

text me and things

monday is my 2 yr anniversary

tonight we buy a cat

tomorrow we get an estimate on our bathroom remodel

apple harvest festival maybs

dinner

laying

love you

.

Geogetown Canal.

We don't want no scrubs.

You know how some pop songs can come sprialling back into your head with full lryical recognition expression and melody expression? After YEARS of not hearing the tune, there it is.

Today, TLC's 'no scrubs' slowly started ringing in my head while I was making some edits to an advertisement ...

''hangin' out the passenger side of yah best friend's ride tryin' to holla at me!"

There was no escaping it. Obviously, I set this as my away status on gchat.

A pal comments:

JAF: i don't want no scrubs, scrubs is da guys who don't get no love from me

nooooo scruuuubbss (no! no!) nooooo scrruuubbs

you live at home with your mommma

oh YES son, i'm talkin to you

something something something

wanna get with me with no money NO NO i don't want noooooo scrubs

i really liked that song in jr high

*confession time*

i dated a scrub, his namy was billy

i used to write his name on my wall in my closet (behind my clothes)

and when he broke up with me i wrote NO SCRUBS and xed it out

it's still there.

.

Kent: HA!! this is the most ah-maz-ing story ever.

Le Duke.

At the Philadelphia Flower Show this year, there was a plethora of pink plastic elephant watering cans available for attendees. The living partner of Le Duke Cubby has photo chronicled the meeting.

The initial approach...

The staredown...

The kiss...

Besties.

#reasonisupportlestroops

Amaze blaze.

Don't get it twisted Suzy.

Suburban lives of mid 20/30 somethings need some spice as they don't always have access to the cultural amazingness that surrounds my life, obviously. I'm talking SVU marathons, tofu lo mein, and getting probably too excited when cafe's have almond milk for my lattes.

Community organized sporting leagues seem to have taken and spread quickly. Captains and presidents of said leagues now have a power outlet to exert their unquenchable hunger. Specifically, I present to you an email exchange of an all female soccer league:

Email: League President
Subject: Spring soccer scheduling

Hi ladies,
I've resorted to emailing everyone on this team's roster from the immediate past season because neither the primary captain nor secondary captain have returned any of my emails nor have they responded to several voicemails. Can someone please tell me if your team is going to be playing? The spring season starts in a few weeks and I need to know so I can make the schedule with or without you.

Please reply to all as soon as possible with any helpful information.

Thank you,
League President

The response?

Email: Primary President
Subject: Re: Spring soccer scheduling

League President - Please check your inbox and you will see you have heard from me regarding the Spring season. Also understand that you have been sending emails to an account that is no longer in use and the auto-response that is set up would have told you that after every email you have sent me. I explained in my email to you that we are planning on playing this Spring and that if you needed anything you should contact me via email at this address. If you have any further questions or concerns I would appreciate it if you would email me directly here instead of calling me out in front of my team.

Thank you.

Primary Captain

Lesson learned? Always check your junk folder.

Elton John and I are besties.

Sorta...

As background, my pals and I stalked out the stage door to get a glimpse of Amy Winehouse but were informed by her people that she'd most likely be otherwise ... preoccupied ... in her green room at the venue. Oh right, this was at Sheppard Bush in Hammersmith, London circa May 2007. Elton John was in the audience and he did leave via stage door. Shortly after this shot was snapped, I literally ran after Sir Elton to snag a pic with him but was brutally rebuffed.

C'est la vie.

Meangirl-ed.

JFY: i met a friend for lunch today
and we are chatting, having a semi-private convo

and some cray cray bitch walks up

and says

"hi, i'm new here. i feel like this is high school and i don't have friends. can i sit here."

.

.

.

she sat down, SCARFED her food

while talking about how drunk she was that weekend

then got up and said "k thanks, bye"
only breaking for air once to ask if we were engaged!

Lesson learned: Staying in touch with pals can be tricky what with lifestyle differences, time zones, distance, etc. However, it is very important as stories like these - that REALLY matter - can be shared.

Motherhood will make you act a fool.

JFY: the cats were constipated

we had to put them on laxatives.

Kent: omg.

JFY: if they didn't poop by Thursday, they had to go into the vet

husband just sent me two photos

of cat poop

i'm so happy

i teared.

Kent: jesus god.
this is amazing.


Lesson learned? Sometimes life can surprise you at the picture messages that will invoke tears. Perhaps for some a baby smiling, others a loved one's face, and then for the rest of us, cat poop.

Fitting rooms are NOT water closets.

This tale requires no introduction.

Kent: please

my friend worked some holiday shifts at a clothing retail store

and she has been working some weekend shifts since then

and last weekend

someone went RUNNING out of the fitting room

and one of the workers went in and the woman had forgotten one of her paper shopping bags

so she picked it up and said 'MA'AM .. you forgot your bag!'
and then my pal said, 'Look out'! to her because ...

THERE WAS PEE LEAKING FROM THE BAG!

JFY: o.m.f.g.

Kent: the woman squatted and peed in the bag in the fitting room.

Lesson learned? I .. can't even. I'm speechless.

I crave Adele.

An education doesn't negate ignorance.

Status message from my pal AAW:

"AAW, do you want to know something funny? There's a comedian coming in March, who is half-Indian, half-Japanese. There is nothing funny about half-Indian, half-Japanese. They have no sense of humor and are so serious! I know, because I taught a class with Japanese in it and they never smile." - My boss, ph.D

#idiot #embarrasment #offensive

..:: updated ::..

AAW: "Are you going to teach us how to cook Chinese...? Well, just because you are Chinese, doesn't mean you know how to cook." - My boss, ph.D says to an international student from China after talking about an internship

#totesinapprops