Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

A dream. In 6 parts.

We attended a CB West reunion together - The 3 of us - Lori, Phillip and Jeff. The reunion took place in what seemed to be a similar layout of Unami Middle School sports fields and a mixture of the fields near the Womping Willows in Harry Potter that lead down to Hagrid's Hut, and ending with the Dark Forest/Trees at end of Unami Football field at the edge. At the base of the reunion tents were housing facilities similar to a stretch of Bard houses. We three stayed in an end unit with the extended Corolla-Solomon's Johnson/McDonnell family clan for the weekend. The time is early afternoon and it is pleasant outside with a hint of warm breeze.

We three strolled through the tents waving to people we know. We ended up sitting at a high top table with 3 chairs and our friends came up to say hi to us. My friends saying hi to me and Jeff's saying hi to him. Jeff and I both introduced Lori to all of our pals as they approached. Slowly, Jeff's football pals ended up circling us and making us the center of the conversation/party. Drinks are flowing - liquor drinks for me and beer for you two. We end up excusing ourselves to have family dinner in the house. It's a hustle-bustle sort of time and we throw ourselves in the work to help - similar to dinner time at Corolla. We are standing about when suddenly Lori and I (Jeff mysteriously has left the house) hear that there's a commotion outside - I have received texts that I need to come help my brother, Jeff. We sprint out of the house and go to the Whomping Willow backyard and hear the Jeff if fighting with a high school pal of his, which turns out to be an enemy. The two of them have unfinished business and they end of battling it out.

Lori is stricken with fear and looks to me for help. Murmurs circle me that I can't go after Jeff and enemy-pal since they've now entered the woods/Dark Forest and it's become nighttime - so who knows what could be happening. Still, I stand firm and exclaim I'm going after my brother and the that the football pals must come with me to support as clearly I can't do it on my own. So enter Jim Faganini, Jim Mitchell, and I think Phil DiGiacamo. We all sprint to the woods and break up into teams - Jim Mitchell comes with me. We enter the woods and immediately become entangled in some thorny vines which only strengthen their grip as we struggle to break free. We see Jeff run by chasing his enemy-pal (who know comes to resemble Tom Williamson). I feel safe knowing that Jeff seems to be winning the battle and we focus on slowly breaking ourselves free.

Finally, we are running again toward the noise. We approach a two story house which is missing the front and we can see into it clearly. Jeff and enemy-pal are on the top floor dueling when suddenly Jeff falls. And doesn't get up. A Hagrid like man creature is standing beneath the floor negotiating with enemy-pal. Tom Williamson, aka enemy-pal, looks me directly in the eye and says if you tell anyone, next time he'll kill him. Then he tosses Jeff's seemingly lifeless body out the frame and Hagrid-man catches him by the feet before he slams to the ground.

In a flash, we're back in the Bard-like town home waiting for Doctor's news on Jeff. I appear to be on the verge of hysterics and people are very cautious around me. We're left to assume Lori is in the room with the Doctor. The news comes - Jeff is alive but won't make it. He's been through too much.

I. Break. Down. Screaming. Hysterical convulsions.

The family tries to comfort me, to calm me down, but I want none of it. I want to be left alone to fall apart. Because strong is for drinks so I should go ahead and fall to pieces. I escape the family's grasp and run off into a stairwell. I'm lost. In an intricate system of hallways and dumb waiters (you know those old time small platforms that are like mini elevators for food?). I enter in one of those and pull myself up and unload into a FANCY suite. Lindsay Lohan walks by in the same blue outfit she was wearing just a few days ago. She is startled and I say how I loved her in Parent Trap. She calls for her Mom and they trot off. Her sister walks by me quickly and they call security. I scram away.

I'm outside now, Nana has found me. She says Lori has gone. We are searching for her and find her in the house that we were staying in - the Bard-like end unit. Lori entered the house to mourn and the house transformed into a much larger much fancier version, detached itself from the Bard unit and drifted into the sky where a hill grew up from the ground to support it. We all enter the house and Lori has made a mexican feast for all of us to share. She says that life goes on and we're all meant to live together in this home. Lori has snipped some muted yet bright yellow Lillies which are about 7 feet long and placed them in a same yellow colored vase in the living room corner. The vase is a floor vase and is very round throughout with a very tapered stubby opening at the top. The Lillies branch out into the room and emit the most pleasant smell - It seems as if the flowers will leave forever. And we all feel at peace in the home. Dinner begins.

_________


Then I wake up. This dream was dreamt this morning. I woke up at 7:33am. And I was convinced Jeff had died. I actually went back to sleep thinking that I'd need to take a personal day to mourn. I didn't wake up again until 8:35am - when I suddenly realized I was terribly late and my work BlackBerry was buzzing incessantly. I began my getting ready routine.