Kent Vent

Weekend: A Look Ahead.

2011-10-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

This lady makes me smile all zee time.

JAF: k i'm leaving

text me and things

monday is my 2 yr anniversary

tonight we buy a cat

tomorrow we get an estimate on our bathroom remodel

apple harvest festival maybs

dinner

laying

love you

Geogetown Canal.

2011-07-10T16:11:00.001-07:00

We don't want no scrubs.

2011-05-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

You know how some pop songs can come sprialling back into your head with full lryical recognition expression and melody expression? After YEARS of not hearing the tune, there it is.

Today, TLC's 'no scrubs' slowly started ringing in my head while I was making some edits to an advertisement ...

''hangin' out the passenger side of yah best friend's ride tryin' to holla at me!"

There was no escaping it. Obviously, I set this as my away status on gchat.

A pal comments:

JAF: i don't want no scrubs, scrubs is da guys who don't get no love from me

nooooo scruuuubbss (no! no!) nooooo scrruuubbs

you live at home with your mommma

oh YES son, i'm talkin to you

something something something

wanna get with me with no money NO NO i don't want noooooo scrubs

i really liked that song in jr high

*confession time*

i dated a scrub, his namy was billy

i used to write his name on my wall in my closet (behind my clothes)

and when he broke up with me i wrote NO SCRUBS and xed it out

it's still there.

Kent: HA!! this is the most ah-maz-ing story ever.

Le Duke.

2011-04-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

At the Philadelphia Flower Show this year, there was a plethora of pink plastic elephant watering cans available for attendees. The living partner of Le Duke Cubby has photo chronicled the meeting.

The initial approach...

The staredown...

The kiss...

Besties.

#reasonisupportlestroops

2011-04-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

Amaze blaze.

Don't get it twisted Suzy.

2011-03-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

Suburban lives of mid 20/30 somethings need some spice as they don't always have access to the cultural amazingness that surrounds my life, obviously. I'm talking SVU marathons, tofu lo mein, and getting probably too excited when cafe's have almond milk for my lattes.

Community organized sporting leagues seem to have taken and spread quickly. Captains and presidents of said leagues now have a power outlet to exert their unquenchable hunger. Specifically, I present to you an email exchange of an all female soccer league:

Email: League President
Subject: Spring soccer scheduling

Hi ladies,
I've resorted to emailing everyone on this team's roster from the immediate past season because neither the primary captain nor secondary captain have returned any of my emails nor have they responded to several voicemails. Can someone please tell me if your team is going to be playing? The spring season starts in a few weeks and I need to know so I can make the schedule with or without you.

Please reply to all as soon as possible with any helpful information.

Thank you,
League President

The response?

Email: Primary President
Subject: Re: Spring soccer scheduling

League President - Please check your inbox and you will see you have heard from me regarding the Spring season. Also understand that you have been sending emails to an account that is no longer in use and the auto-response that is set up would have told you that after every email you have sent me. I explained in my email to you that we are planning on playing this Spring and that if you needed anything you should contact me via email at this address. If you have any further questions or concerns I would appreciate it if you would email me directly here instead of calling me out in front of my team.

Thank you.

Primary Captain

Lesson learned? Always check your junk folder.

Elton John and I are besties.

2011-03-08T14:20:00.001-08:00

Sorta...

As background, my pals and I stalked out the stage door to get a glimpse of Amy Winehouse but were informed by her people that she'd most likely be otherwise ... preoccupied ... in her green room at the venue. Oh right, this was at Sheppard Bush in Hammersmith, London circa May 2007. Elton John was in the audience and he did leave via stage door. Shortly after this shot was snapped, I literally ran after Sir Elton to snag a pic with him but was brutally rebuffed.

C'est la vie.

Meangirl-ed.

2011-03-07T11:39:00.000-08:00

JFY: i met a friend for lunch today
and we are chatting, having a semi-private convo

and some cray cray bitch walks up

and says

"hi, i'm new here. i feel like this is high school and i don't have friends. can i sit here."

she sat down, SCARFED her food

while talking about how drunk she was that weekend

then got up and said "k thanks, bye"
only breaking for air once to ask if we were engaged!

Lesson learned: Staying in touch with pals can be tricky what with lifestyle differences, time zones, distance, etc. However, it is very important as stories like these - that REALLY matter - can be shared.

Motherhood will make you act a fool.

2011-02-23T13:27:00.000-08:00

JFY: the cats were constipated

we had to put them on laxatives.

Kent: omg.

JFY: if they didn't poop by Thursday, they had to go into the vet

husband just sent me two photos

of cat poop

i'm so happy

i teared.

Kent: jesus god.
this is amazing.

Lesson learned? Sometimes life can surprise you at the picture messages that will invoke tears. Perhaps for some a baby smiling, others a loved one's face, and then for the rest of us, cat poop.

Fitting rooms are NOT water closets.

2011-02-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

This tale requires no introduction.

Kent: please

my friend worked some holiday shifts at a clothing retail store

and she has been working some weekend shifts since then

and last weekend

someone went RUNNING out of the fitting room

and one of the workers went in and the woman had forgotten one of her paper shopping bags

so she picked it up and said 'MA'AM .. you forgot your bag!'
and then my pal said, 'Look out'! to her because ...

THERE WAS PEE LEAKING FROM THE BAG!

JFY: o.m.f.g.

Kent: the woman squatted and peed in the bag in the fitting room.

Lesson learned? I .. can't even. I'm speechless.

I crave Adele.

2011-01-27T07:46:00.000-08:00

An education doesn't negate ignorance.

2011-01-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

Status message from my pal AAW:

"AAW, do you want to know something funny? There's a comedian coming in March, who is half-Indian, half-Japanese. There is nothing funny about half-Indian, half-Japanese. They have no sense of humor and are so serious! I know, because I taught a class with Japanese in it and they never smile." - My boss, ph.D

#idiot #embarrasment #offensive

..:: updated ::..

AAW: "Are you going to teach us how to cook Chinese...? Well, just because you are Chinese, doesn't mean you know how to cook." - My boss, ph.D says to an international student from China after talking about an internship

#totesinapprops

Read between the lines.

2010-12-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

JFG: my colleague heard back from his recent ex
he asked me to help him figure it out
i went over and he let me read her email

and basically she said that HE must be confused because she didn't break up with him bc she met someone else, she broke up with him because she doesn't love him.

she said it over. and over. in the email

i don't love you.
.

Kent: .

JFG: so i finish reading it and turn around to him and he says

"so what do you think it means."

Kent: omg. amazing.

JFG: i know!

so i said

"well, i think it was thoughtful of her to respond, she definitely took a lot of time to write this, but.."

"i think what she said was clear..."

and he looked at me, then looked down.

said quietly "thanks."

and i walked out of his office!

SO AWK.

Free spirit.

2010-10-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

Weddings. Tears, flowers, and waves ruining bridesmaid dresses.

Kent: how was the miami wedding?

CEF: omg. i made out with a groomsman.

Kent: did you roll in the sand

did you get the jank bridal dress wet

CEF: yes and YES

Kent: WHOA

CEF: i was like christ how do i dry this thing?
so i put it over a lampshade when i finally made it back to my room i was sharing with my parents at 2am

the next morning my dad picked it up and was like "sweaty..."

i was like "err... yeah i danced A LOT"

Kent: this is the best story i've ever heard.

It could've been worse. Apparently, the unknowing groomsman rolled about the waves with his mobile in his pants pocket. Rough.

Lesson learned? When attending weddings, best to contact CEF for words of advice to have the MOST fun possible. Email me direct for her twitter handle. She prefers to work through direct messaages.

Cheryl Cole.

2010-10-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

If you aren't familiar, you've not lived. That's all.

Ps. She's performing my birthday.

Footwear imitates life?

2010-10-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

Shoe choice, and planning of, is key to business meetings and professional growth decisions. See below:

JFY: i finished my resume and had my colleague look at it

Kent: mhm ... what will you do with it now

JFY: well i'm having coffee with my mentor on monday to talk about the transition
he wanted to meet today or friday
but today my hair is jank
and tomorrow i want to wear flats.
and my mentor is very tall.
so we're meeting on monday.

Kent: seems like most rational choice to me.

Lesson: Preparing the resume is step one. Outfit/hair choice is step two - and most important. Please allow adequate time for decision making to include consultations with pals and/or haircut trims or blowouts.

Oh Banksy .. I do cherish you.

2010-10-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

Banksy directs a dark opening for Simpsons. And accurately comments - with only animated visuals - on labor regulations, capitalism, consumerism, and society at large in less then 1 minute.

Standard Sounds

2010-10-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

Uff Da.

2010-09-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

Vocab lesson of the day. Remember to make a flash card to study for SATs!

AAW: my friend majored in norwegian

but i'm not sure what you would do with it

besides say "uff da!" if you drop something

Kent: what does that mean!

AAW: uff da?

it means like...

ugh

i guess

it's used a lot

so if like an old person is getting out of a chair and it's a struggle, they might say "uff da!"

or if you do something you don't mean to do, you might mutter "uff da!"

or...

if maybe someone is telling you something bad, you could say "uff da!" to commiserate

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uff_da

Kent: ha!

this is amazing.

Livin' on the Radio.

2010-09-01T05:48:00.001-07:00

Singing my life with her words.

Criss cross apple sauce she plays this live for me next week!

Chilled Chocolate Soup ... with Spinkles!

2010-08-31T10:57:00.000-07:00

Reasons I love advertising copy.

JFY: the soup spot place was advertising chilled chocolate soup with sprinkles

i was excited

walked down with colleague

got three orders

1. they were out of sprinkles

2. it was just pudding!

Learned Lesson? The written word conveys best when offering sprinkles. Preferably, rainbow.

… so I like that about myself and I have other great qualities as well …

2010-08-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

Excited.

2010-08-20T06:15:00.000-07:00

Coming this fall - Nat Geo Migrations - another reason to anticipate the crisp season.

Lost in translation.

2010-08-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

My pals are varied. From single ladies wearing Joe Ragans, to married couples with little ones, to gays designing up the voice of our generation, to custom tee shirt makers who sell the Free Steven Slater apparel, to hipster kids who take vitamins to alter their taste buds, to curators at Smithsonian museums, to Nat Geo workers who chat with Lisa Ling about weather in her parts of the world, to pilates instructors who make delish dirty ketel one marti's (one olive please).

I have major love and appreciation for each. But sometimes - just sometimes - I need a few minutes to process.

Kent: whats the dilly yo

AAW: well i was supposed to go farming with a friend

but now i don't know if we are going

...

we probably won't have to move our hang out date

i'm just not sure when we would get back if we do

Kent: farming?

AAW: ha

yes

farming

well, work on a farm

we had it set up a couple of weeks ago

and now she's moving, so she's not sure if she has time to

Kent: i dont understand

like free labor

or ...

like share cropping?

AAW: yes, like free labor

no not share cropping

Kent: do you get crops in payment?

AAW: no i don't think so

i think it's just volunteering

Kent: i see.

Lesson learned: This is why I write my calendar plans in pencil. A pal could cancel to go farming. Straight up FARMING.

Seconds, please.

2010-08-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

JFY: there is this crazy woman who works at our front desk. today she is telling everyone that her daughter was nearly kidnapped this weekend from her camper.

she didn't call 911 because they were out of state and she didn' tknow 911 worked outside of the state.

.
.
.

Kent: this is amaze.

JFY: she said that the "kidnapper" started pulling her daughters legs from outside of the camper and she had to pull from inside.

so then she left her daughter with her husband and went on a search for the kidnapper.

she saw a woman who wouldn't make eye contact with her.

found a police officer (somehow, without calling 911) and reported that woman.

Kent: this has to be made up!

JFY: swear, its not.

she has cornered 3 of my colleagues

same story.

each time.

Speechless.

2010-08-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

22 days until Lady Gaga concert. Hopefully, I'm not cycling during that time. I should probably start keeping track.

JFY: you know, guys can get pms too

just without the mess

a time of the month when they are irritable, hungry and break out

maybs we are on the same cycle!

Some men may follow me, but you choose death and company.

Josh Rouse.

2010-08-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

My appreciation and love for Josh Rouse's music is muy dificil to describe with my own words. Luckily, Ms. Celine Dion comes to my aid.

'you were my strength when I was weak
you were my voice when I couldn't speak
you were my eyes when I couldn't see
...
i'm everything I am'

Because you sing glorious tunes and strum a marvelous guitar that soothes and give me peace of mind.

Soap box.

2010-08-04T09:01:00.000-07:00

Target supports anti-gay candidates. Link provided by Huffington Post.

Grandma boycotts Target for love of her gay children - Make it viral people.

Read between the gchat IM's.

2010-07-30T13:03:00.001-07:00

My pal has begun expressing some thoughts that perhaps her dating partner isn't heaving his fair share of costs with regard to outings, gifts, meals, etc. However, her expressed love and sympathetic emotions impede her ability to bring out of the passive shadows her concerns.

Exchange between pal and pal's partner regarding pal's parents buying her the B&N Nook for her upcoming birthday.

Pal: aw baby! you don't have to get me stuff like that, a card is all i want :)

Pal's Partner: haha .. okey

Now, pal's words to Kent.

Pal: WRONG.

BUY ME THINGS.

Kent: um then why did you say to him a card is enough?

Pal: ugh because im not supposed to say stuff like " well you missed out on that gift opportunity, but here's www.davidyurman.com"

This situation is similar to not registering for one's wedding. If you don't register, you'll end up with coasters showcasing your Chi Omega sorority sister's 2 and 4-yr old children in different idyllic poses. AKA? Trash.

Suspected youth.

2010-07-29T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hermano y Futura Cuñada.

As Ms. Duff says, 'just do it with love, love, love, love.'

Always customize.

2010-07-29T06:15:00.001-07:00

Dreams can be tricky. Sometimes they are your sub-conscious trying to bring to attention a deep rooted emotional issue. And sometimes they are just cray cray (read: crazy). Either way the intention, I highly enjoy having them and my pals whimsical tales. Such as below.

JFY: we were in your apartment with random people, and you were doing my makeup because we were going to go to that Au Bon Pain place and pick up sandwiches for the randos.

you yelled at me because i didn't custom order my cheese (it came with provolone) and you said "WHO STAYS WITH THE PROVOLONE WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER CHEESE CHOICES?!"

So I got mozzarella... that was pretty much it.

Take away? Don't settle for standard. Always break the mold. Reinvent the wheel. etc. etc. (Insert all other cliches that are meant to inspire and motivate but because of overuse end up being meaningless. Oh, just like Eat. Pray. Love. Don't you have twins to take care of Julia? Get off my movie screen.)

Modern Day White Out

2010-07-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

These days, we're tethered to our mobile devices. Quite literally sometimes. A lost smart phone could cause million dollar business deals to fall through. I maintain two BlackBerrys myself ; one for work and one for Kent. This constant connectedness with millions of open-ended conversations continuously ongoing can end with user confusion. A slip of the fingertip causes a misspelling and auto correct will fix your careless and lazy digit's faults. Or so you think.

For example, take the below email exchange between me and my boss:

Kent: Your 2:30pm tomorrow has been canceled and your 5pm moved to next week.

*Outlook ping and BB vibrate, nearly simultaneously*

Boss: Gay!!!

Kent (thinking to self): ...what the hell... is this a virtual hate crime? ... From MY BOSS?! I WILL SUE!!!

*ping/vibrate*

Boss: Oops! :) I meant Yay!!!

Perhaps we should all review our HR policies, with special attention paid to these pseudo-Freudian slips.

Tough love.

2010-07-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

"Plenty of fish in the sea!" But what if I'm vegan [this week]? Navigating the waves of the dating scene is tricky - luckily, I've taken to water sports (no, not those kind) and excel at things like surfing, ocean kayaking, and body boarding. Snorkeling is TBD.

It's always best to talk with pals and discuss various dating situations. Sample excerpt is below.

BCD: He sounds like a complete tool and the opposite of you in every way.

*pause*

BCD: (no offense)

Lesson learned? Honesty is valued and vital from ones's pals. How else will we know if we've over bronzed?

Friday Preview.

2010-07-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

My weekend is for Angelina Jolie, a W hotel surprise birthday bash, and this song.

Beluxury Fun.

2010-07-22T11:48:00.000-07:00

A late night Las Vegas conversation.

Time: 1:30am on a Saturday night
Locale: Barstool sitting at Bellagio casino bar in Las Vegas. A gaggle of friends surround us with chatter about their evenings.

LS: "Kent, would you be friends with me if my lips looked like this?" (pursing)
Kent: no words

Kent and LS proceed to talk with pursed lips for three hours in Bellagio casino, not a care in the world

I'm still giggling from the memory. And I haven't stopped for months.

#makesmesmile

2010-07-16T14:08:00.000-07:00

When will someone ask me?

Not that I care about marriage or anything. I mean it's just an archaic institution.

(I think I'm becoming more traditional as times goes on...)

What? Who said that? Someone has taken over my blog for sure.

Stay tuned.

2010-07-16T08:16:00.001-07:00

Luckily and gratefully, this lady is part of my family.

LAW: well, my friend still hasn't let me know if i should expect them tomorrow morning so i texted just an hour ago to say "are you planning on coming tomorrow, i just need to know what i should plan for. our other friends is coming either way, so just let me know".

they texted back and said "i'm actually in the middle of writing you an email. stay tuned"

what the eff does that mean?

i just need a yes or no.

STFU.

2010-07-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

JFY: so my colleague comes over

says:

"i need a week long vacation, i havent' had one since i went to spain last october and won't have another one until i go to paris this october"

bitch.

i have never 1. been out of the country

and 2. taken a week long vacation

even after my wedding

stfu.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

2010-07-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

A dream. In 6 parts.

We attended a CB West reunion together - The 3 of us - Lori, Phillip and Jeff. The reunion took place in what seemed to be a similar layout of Unami Middle School sports fields and a mixture of the fields near the Womping Willows in Harry Potter that lead down to Hagrid's Hut, and ending with the Dark Forest/Trees at end of Unami Football field at the edge. At the base of the reunion tents were housing facilities similar to a stretch of Bard houses. We three stayed in an end unit with the extended Corolla-Solomon's Johnson/McDonnell family clan for the weekend. The time is early afternoon and it is pleasant outside with a hint of warm breeze.

We three strolled through the tents waving to people we know. We ended up sitting at a high top table with 3 chairs and our friends came up to say hi to us. My friends saying hi to me and Jeff's saying hi to him. Jeff and I both introduced Lori to all of our pals as they approached. Slowly, Jeff's football pals ended up circling us and making us the center of the conversation/party. Drinks are flowing - liquor drinks for me and beer for you two. We end up excusing ourselves to have family dinner in the house. It's a hustle-bustle sort of time and we throw ourselves in the work to help - similar to dinner time at Corolla. We are standing about when suddenly Lori and I (Jeff mysteriously has left the house) hear that there's a commotion outside - I have received texts that I need to come help my brother, Jeff. We sprint out of the house and go to the Whomping Willow backyard and hear the Jeff if fighting with a high school pal of his, which turns out to be an enemy. The two of them have unfinished business and they end of battling it out.

Lori is stricken with fear and looks to me for help. Murmurs circle me that I can't go after Jeff and enemy-pal since they've now entered the woods/Dark Forest and it's become nighttime - so who knows what could be happening. Still, I stand firm and exclaim I'm going after my brother and the that the football pals must come with me to support as clearly I can't do it on my own. So enter Jim Faganini, Jim Mitchell, and I think Phil DiGiacamo. We all sprint to the woods and break up into teams - Jim Mitchell comes with me. We enter the woods and immediately become entangled in some thorny vines which only strengthen their grip as we struggle to break free. We see Jeff run by chasing his enemy-pal (who know comes to resemble Tom Williamson). I feel safe knowing that Jeff seems to be winning the battle and we focus on slowly breaking ourselves free.

Finally, we are running again toward the noise. We approach a two story house which is missing the front and we can see into it clearly. Jeff and enemy-pal are on the top floor dueling when suddenly Jeff falls. And doesn't get up. A Hagrid like man creature is standing beneath the floor negotiating with enemy-pal. Tom Williamson, aka enemy-pal, looks me directly in the eye and says if you tell anyone, next time he'll kill him. Then he tosses Jeff's seemingly lifeless body out the frame and Hagrid-man catches him by the feet before he slams to the ground.

In a flash, we're back in the Bard-like town home waiting for Doctor's news on Jeff. I appear to be on the verge of hysterics and people are very cautious around me. We're left to assume Lori is in the room with the Doctor. The news comes - Jeff is alive but won't make it. He's been through too much.

I. Break. Down. Screaming. Hysterical convulsions.

The family tries to comfort me, to calm me down, but I want none of it. I want to be left alone to fall apart. Because strong is for drinks so I should go ahead and fall to pieces. I escape the family's grasp and run off into a stairwell. I'm lost. In an intricate system of hallways and dumb waiters (you know those old time small platforms that are like mini elevators for food?). I enter in one of those and pull myself up and unload into a FANCY suite. Lindsay Lohan walks by in the same blue outfit she was wearing just a few days ago. She is startled and I say how I loved her in Parent Trap. She calls for her Mom and they trot off. Her sister walks by me quickly and they call security. I scram away.

I'm outside now, Nana has found me. She says Lori has gone. We are searching for her and find her in the house that we were staying in - the Bard-like end unit. Lori entered the house to mourn and the house transformed into a much larger much fancier version, detached itself from the Bard unit and drifted into the sky where a hill grew up from the ground to support it. We all enter the house and Lori has made a mexican feast for all of us to share. She says that life goes on and we're all meant to live together in this home. Lori has snipped some muted yet bright yellow Lillies which are about 7 feet long and placed them in a same yellow colored vase in the living room corner. The vase is a floor vase and is very round throughout with a very tapered stubby opening at the top. The Lillies branch out into the room and emit the most pleasant smell - It seems as if the flowers will leave forever. And we all feel at peace in the home. Dinner begins.

_________

Then I wake up. This dream was dreamt this morning. I woke up at 7:33am. And I was convinced Jeff had died. I actually went back to sleep thinking that I'd need to take a personal day to mourn. I didn't wake up again until 8:35am - when I suddenly realized I was terribly late and my work BlackBerry was buzzing incessantly. I began my getting ready routine.

Life matters.

2010-07-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

It's becoming quite evident to me that the majority of human conversations - at least Stateside - revolve around mundane chatter.

"How was your weekend?"

"It's a hot one today!"

"Do you have the time?"

I reject this common notion and prefer to focus my discussions with pals, colleagues, family, etc. on the more important matters in our respective relationships.

For example, a chat with a close pal o' mine:

JFY: so, please.
my colleagues's bday is sunday so we decided to get donuts and a dunkin donut gift card.
no one volunteered to get the donuts

so i have to drive 30 minutes out of my way to either get them tonight or tomorrow morning.

i mean really.
one of my colleague's lives right next to a dunkin store...

i have to drive to maryland to get them!

Kent: ha!

i love your office stories

they're so craze.

JFY: so craz

everything is such a dilemma!

then next week is another colleague's birthday

so i'm sure i'll have to do everything for that too

this is all bc our boss got me a gift card for my birthday

and now everyone expects one.

Reason #495 why I love CLB.

2010-07-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

CLB: well yesterday i had 4 glasses of wine at a birthday party came home and threw up like an under aged drinker

i had to teach at 12 now im home thanking santa that they sell stouffers mac and cheese at cvs

oh honey i miss you too

Goldsmith: An Envisionment

2010-03-17T17:03:00.000-07:00

A grand pal of mine has been accepted to an ideal educational institution. I'd like to assist in the decision making process with some photographic consideration.

Terrace View: Where eyes lose focus to the mind.

Vast Greens: Yarding ideal for Bean.

A choice - for sure, one of many to come - to be verbalized, mentalized, discussedalized with Kent. Ultimately, the finale rests with the accepted and here at the Vent, we do hope to make the accepted feel most confident during these decisions.

祝辞

Josh Rouse.

2010-02-11T10:50:00.000-08:00

Headline seems a bit wordy, eh? Truth is, I find any more wording to be superfluous and gaudy. His name carries enough importance and sophistication to stand alone. With that, have a listen.

Family. Forever. Fun. Fo' real.

2009-07-04T11:10:00.000-07:00

My family. On my Dad's side. I've got 3 other sides. It's like a Pentagon. Or is that a square? Anyway, this is the clan with whom I spent my Furlough from Life in Corolla, NC. I have more stories to share and tales to relay but for now just this photo.

Top to bottom, left to right: Aunt Jeanne "loves her some wine" McDonnell, Uncle Lee "crown royal" Johnson, Matriarch Gma Louise "teaches poker to her 5-year-old grandkids" Dowdy, Aunt Sheri "disarrono on the rocks with a kindle in hand" McGlothlin, Uncle Leon "idle time is the devil's work" McGlothlin, Cousin Mike "skin will make a great distressed genuine leather man bag for me one day" Johnson, Cousin Josh "working for retirement" Stevens, Kent McKenzie, Dr. Brother Jeff "professional student" Johnson, Cousin Dallas "carry's 5-6 nicaraguan kids with the warmth of his heart" Johnson, Cousin Krista "you never know who you're going to meet" Stevens, Cousin Jacob "thinks apple juice would bring world peace" Stevens, Cousin Katelyn "has already been elected president in year 2028" McGlothlin, Cousin Lori "live in photog for the week (does this count as anthropological immersion?)" Wilson, Cousin Aubrey "dimples for days" Johnson, Cousin Mason "don't let that innocent face fool you" Johnson, Cousin Jenna "gets whatever she wants with sad puppy eyes - don't look or you'll end up with all major credit cards and a kidney missing" Johnson, Cousin Brody "the guy with the cwazy hairs" Johnson, and last but most definitely not least Cousin Morgan "lead saxophone with a heart of gold (and no, she can't take a shot of patron anejo Kayla as she is 13" McGlothlin. (Photo Credit Lori A. Wilson)

Eleven Stars a-Shooting

2009-06-23T08:58:00.000-07:00

Sunday, June 21, Midnight-ish EST

Pulling up to Beach Palace, Uncle Lee greeted us on the steps – followed by Cousin Dallas, Cousin Katelyn, and Cousin Morgan acting as bell hops (I didn’t tip.) As I had spent countless minutes on Twiddy Realty’s web site studying the floor plan, I knew exactly where to go, claimed my bed (twin next to the window), and went about the house exploring and greeting family members. Most found on the top floor – I’ll recap all family inhabitants to this fan-freaking-tastic vacation home in the family photo. Because yes, we had a scheduled photo shoot with our very own live in vacationer photographer Lori A. Wilson, which to satisfy your curiosity is how she is to be captioned.

Dual spaghetti dinners later – we have 3-4 vegetarians on staff her at Beach Palace – and Lori and I went to claim dresser space. We decided to share the drawers and hangers. Oh, what about Jeff? We gave him the nightstand to use. It has a drawer and cubby beneath for neatly folded clothes to be cubbied away. Plus! He doesn’t have to share space with anyone. Good deal right? Right.

Some drinks later – why did I forget about Bacardi Limon? The lemon garnish is built in! – and we made our way to the sunning deck around 10:30pm. Why a sunning deck at night? For shooting star watching of course! Now, you might not know it to look at me – mainly because I wear sunglasses 95% percent of my life – but I L.O.V.E. star gazing. It’s probably the one activity that completely relaxes me. Could this be the reason I can’t relax in cities so easily? Because I can look up and count the visible stars? (6 from my MPR doorway.) Here, the night sky literally looks like a duvet of stars has been laid just below the clouds. Only for me to see. Just me. I stayed there – with key family members Aunt Jeanne and Cousin Krista – until 1:00am. And experienced/was privy to/beheld with my eyes eleven shooting stars. Such fortunateness ranks higher than a Metro seat during morning rush hour or no line at the 15th and I during Starbucks daily weekday visits with Lisa.

(Sidenote: Lisa and I have received many offers for the Starbucks etc. etiquette manual we’ve crafted. So far, it’s a mental draft. Highlight: Should you accidently spill iced coffee sample, make sure to actually splash some on the angry-for-no-reason holding-up-rush-hour-Bucks-line-with-75-questions-to-Baristas lady in front of you. This way, when said lady is ‘affected’ by the clear attack on her with spilt iced coffee sample, she can actually have something to Tidestick pen off later.)

Only one place to go after such an experience. So I fell asleep. Smiling.

What? This is totally one of the shooting stars documented from sundeck at Beach Palace.

Ma'am, do you have a wire hanger?

2009-06-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

Sunday, June 21, 3:48pm

Jeff locked the keys in the Corolla. We stopped at Wawa to use the facilities and while I searched for the magazine stands, and perhaps the Sunday Washington Post whose contents include the coveted Style section, I ran into a distressed Jeff.

“Where’s Lori?” he exclaimed with authority and little interrogative inflection while darting his eyes.

“She’s in the bathroom – what’s your deal?” responded Kent with concern after taking in his brother’s worry wrinkles.

A beat.

“Jeff?”

A beat.

“Jeff – just tell me!”

Pause. “I locked the keys in the car.”

And there we were. Wawa staffers are not prepped for such emergencies and neither was the laud-o-mat next door. I did forage and bring back a half-hanger. (You know those kind that have the cardboard rod connecting the wires? What’s with that anyway? Oh right – for pants so they don’t get that fold crease.) I also trekked across the busy highway in search of either a cop or a mechanic that may have been happening by. Honda dealership directly across the way? Closed on Sundays.

I returned with my half-hanger half-cardboard tool. I’m sure you realizes how that sorted out.

$40 monies later, 15 minutes, and a green-bow-adorned-flat-wearing-glasses-sporting-tween locksmith with a balloon-wire-contraption later and we set back on the journey to Corolla, NC.

God help us. And save this queen.

Please note the flats and Jeff’s non-use of sun protection eye wear – although dutifully resting atop his cabeza – despite the blistering sun in which we found ourselves during the unexpected Wawa parking lot visit.

Furlough From Life

2009-06-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

Sunday, June 21, 1:00pm

This morning I awoke at 6:45am. I found myself stirring in a room where the Sun thinks it can shine in with the wattage of 75 flood lights. Well, I thought to myself, I’ll just sleep in the car during the 6 hour drive to Corolla, NC. That’s the Outer Banks ya’ll. First timer here. As a favorite former client of mine dubbed it, Nothingsville, NC. We’ll see if she can be proved wrong.

I felt like a naïve child on Christmas morning – I wanted to shake and yell my brother Jeff and his girlfriend Lori to life so we could start the day! But I was easily sidetracked with loading songs onto my iPod.

A 15 minute Kiehl’s since 1851 filled shower later and we sped off to Silver Diner. Lori says it’s an Arlington foodie spot post last call. Let’s hope I don’t ever actually experience that. I’ll stick to Yum’s. (Hm, Yum’s…) But! The Diner did offer up a great new condiment. I’m a big fan of condiments – for dipping, spreading, tasting, etc. This one is a classic – sour cream. With chives mixed in! Lori and I delighted in the new taste expreinced by our buds while Jeff stole our coffies for energy to propel the Toyota Corolla down 95 S. Don’t worry – I’m sharing the back seat with an acoustic guitar which needs constant guidance to prevent the neck (inanimate objects have necks?) from being touched by either my leg or the car door.

I counted earlier and there will be no less than 25 people milling about at Beach Palace (our vacay abode on Lighthouse Drive) at any given time. That’s more people than mill about at my PR firm. And exactly 24 more than I’m used to milling about in my MPR (Multi-Purpose Room a.k.a. my English Basement street level apt – not to be confused with my a.p.t.’s). Given my tremendously important career and lively social obligations, I’ve had no time to mentally prepare myself for what is to come. Perhaps I’ll do so now.

Thankfully, I have this outlet which you’re reading and gratefully (with thanks to Bday) Twitter for hourly, or minute-ly, musings to share with the world. Well, my world at least.

Beach Palace – yes, there is an elevator. Mostly for matriarch use.

If you look closely, you can see a foreshadowed me

in my CBTO (coordinated beach time outfit) on a chaise.

Family Dinner

2009-02-17T20:45:00.000-08:00

This evening, a reunion took place. Lou, Sis, and I met up at Vegetate - a lovely, comfortable vegan lounge with greats eats. [Sis hopes she can duplicate the Vegetable Risotto.] These evenings together are known as Family Dinner times and discussions flow freely about life or similar.

Sis and I had the restaurant week special - a combination of choices on the menu. I won't detail the selections as they can be found on the net, BUT I will say that my Wild Rice cakes and Ginger Sesame encrusted tofu were to DIE for. And all vegan, with which I strictly identify. Please, strictly.

Lou had a taste bud explosion with a Gin and Ginger cocktail. [It was like those tiny slices of flesh colored ginger strips that come in the spinach and avocado Dean and Deluca to go sushi containers.] We all took a taste - Sis and I sat in cocktail envy.

We may hold a Family Dinner gathering repeat.

...

Earlier today, Miranda leaned into my mantle and asked, "who is the old black woman in the Mac room?" I blinked back with confusion and said, "Two things - that is a man and he is 24." Miranda made the oops face and scooted into her french doored office.

...

And now, my thoughts are with Ms. Michos.

Kent Vent

Weekend: A Look Ahead.

Geogetown Canal.

We don't want no scrubs.

Le Duke.

#reasonisupportlestroops

Don't get it twisted Suzy.

Elton John and I are besties.

Meangirl-ed.

Motherhood will make you act a fool.

Fitting rooms are NOT water closets.

I crave Adele.

An education doesn't negate ignorance.

Read between the lines.

Free spirit.

Cheryl Cole.

Footwear imitates life?

Oh Banksy .. I do cherish you.

Standard Sounds

Uff Da.

Livin' on the Radio.

Chilled Chocolate Soup ... with Spinkles!

… so I like that about myself and I have other great qualities as well …

Excited.

Lost in translation.

Seconds, please.

Speechless.

Josh Rouse.

Soap box.

Read between the gchat IM's.

Suspected youth.

Always customize.

Modern Day White Out

Tough love.

Friday Preview.

Beluxury Fun.

LS: "Kent, would you be friends with me if my lips looked like this?" (pursing)Kent: no words

*Kent and LS proceed to talk with pursed lips for three hours in Bellagio casino, not a care in the world*

#makesmesmile

Stay tuned.

STFU.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Life matters.

Reason #495 why I love CLB.

Goldsmith: An Envisionment

Josh Rouse.

Family. Forever. Fun. Fo' real.

Eleven Stars a-Shooting

Ma'am, do you have a wire hanger?

Furlough From Life

Family Dinner

LS: "Kent, would you be friends with me if my lips looked like this?" (pursing)
Kent: no words

Kent and LS proceed to talk with pursed lips for three hours in Bellagio casino, not a care in the world